the longest ride of my life!

according to TomTom we now have 4 hours and 39 mintues remaining on our journey! i have to pee more then i ever thought possible and the next rest stop isnt for like another 30 minutes. so i am passing time by writing to you. for those of you who havent ever met me, i dont exactly have the best relationship with my father. and a lot of times i use my blog to vent about how much i cant stand him most of the time. he has done a lot in the past to hurt me and my brother and a few years ago i finally told him how i felt. lets just say that didnt go so well. to get to the point i just hung up the phone with my "father". it wasnt exactly the most pleasant convo i have had with him. as most of u may realize this weekend is fathers day. now he expects me to come visit him after all the things he has done. i am considering going, because i have a concience. but the more i think about it, fathers day is to celebrate all the things a father has done and been there for. Teaching you how to ride a bike, going to father daughter dances, coming to school functions, field trips, etc. , the person who is there on christmas morning to watch u open presents. My father has done none of the above. no i take that back, he was there for like my first 5 christmas' and im sure if my mom wouldnt have made him some he wouldnt have. yes he is my father by blood but other then that all he has done is break my heart. i would never go as far as saying i hate my father because hate is a strong word. but, ne way, i just had to pretty much tell my dad that i wasnt coming to visit him. he still doesnt realize how much he has hurt me. but, this year i will be celebrating fathers day with the one man who i can honestly say has been there for everything, birthdays, holidays, teaching me to drive, he is more of a father then the one that i have and i dont tell him this often but i thank him so much for everything he has done. so most likely christmas wil be spent with my uncle, Dan, the one who most of my friends always thought was my father but they never asked. the one who was there every birthday party with a gift, who was at all the family gatherings, who lived with me for most of my childhood, and the one who sat on the side at all my softball games and my cheering competitions. he is the one who when i get married i hope will be there to walk me down the aisle and for that special someone to go to for permission to ask me to marry him. thats what a father is and although dan really isnt mine, he is the closest thing i have ever had. and now i am getting out of the car to piss on the side of the road. thanks for reading and check back in later.!